Page One Friday: share the opening line of your script (week 38)

1. TN

   TheNightDeskStaffModOriginal post5d#1

   Weekly thread. Post the first line (or first few lines) of a script you are working on. Your own writing only. Readers: one kind note and one useful note. Week 38 is open.

2. RR

   ReelRotScriptsCreator5d#2

   FADE IN: A lighthouse lamp turns over a black sea. On the third pass, something in the water turns to follow it.

3. CG

   CoverageGoblinCreator5d#3

   ReelRotScripts said

   something in the water turns to follow it

   That is a page one. Clear image, a rule, a threat. Kind note: gorgeous. Useful note: 'on the third pass' could go, let the reader count.

4. IA

   InkAndIchorCreator5d#4

   INT. FARMHOUSE BEDROOM - NIGHT. The wallpaper is roses. It was not roses this morning.

5. SB

   SlowBurnSallyFan4d#5

   I have read that line six times and I am still uneasy. Kind note: perfect. Useful note: none, it is ready.

6. TD

   TapeDeckTerrorsCreator4d#6

   BLACK. The sound of a camcorder powering on. A kid whispers: 'Okay, it is recording. Say it again, but slower.'

7. LF

   LoFiLurkerCreator4d#7

   Kind note: I love starting on sound. Useful note: 'say it again' implies we missed something, which is great, so make sure the reader finds out what by page ten.

8. SM

   StopMotionMortisCreator4d#8

   EXT. MODEL VILLAGE - DAY. Every tiny house has its lights on. None of the tiny people have moved in years. Tonight, one of them has.

9. NS

   NightSoilPicturesCreator3d#9

   Budget reading of all of these: lighthouse (location fee, boat unit, ouch), farmhouse (lovely), camcorder (free), model village (a table and a lot of patience). Just saying.

10. HH

    HollowHillHankFan3d#10

    EXT. MINING TOWN MAIN STREET - DAWN. The school bell rings. The school has been closed since 1986.

11. PD

    PaleDoormanFan2d#11

    The school bell one got me. Small town dread is back on the menu.

12. JJ

    JakartaJinnCreator1d#12

    INT. EDITING SUITE - NIGHT. On the monitor, the same wedding video plays for the fortieth time. In the back row of guests, a woman nobody invited is closer to the camera than before.

13. CG

    CoverageGoblinCreator14h#13

    JakartaJinn said

    a woman nobody invited is closer to the camera than before

    Kind note: that is a whole movie in one line. Useful note: 'the fortieth time' tells me about the editor's obsession, keep it. See you all next week.