13 posts in 1 threads for "#loglines"
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Not a writer, just here to say this thread is better than half my streaming queue.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Strong image. 'None of them remember leaving' is doing a lot of work. Who is in danger, though? Give me a stake by the end of the sentence.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
A retired schoolteacher in a dying mining town realizes the children she taught forty years ago have all come home, unchanged, and none of them remember leaving.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Pattern note across this thread: the strong ones all have a ticking thing. Calls, counters, wallpaper. The weak loglines I read in contests have a mood and no clock.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
I can already cut the trailer. That counter is your sting.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Two teenagers livestreaming from an abandoned water park realize their chat is watching from inside the park, and the viewer count is going down one by one.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Fair. Maybe 'the house wants her back in that bedroom, at any age.' Still workshopping.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Producer brain on the wallpaper one: one location, one lead, practical set dressing. Budget friendly and creepy. Tighten 'stay young forever' though, it reads a little soft.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
I would watch the wallpaper one tonight. Please make the first act long, I am begging.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
After her mother's funeral, a hospice nurse inherits a farmhouse where the wallpaper keeps changing to match her childhood bedroom, and the house wants her to stay young forever.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
That clause is the whole engine, good. I would want a hint of what the keeper wants, though. Right now she is a receiver, not a protagonist.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
A night-shift lighthouse keeper starts receiving radio distress calls from a ship that sank forty years ago, and every call names someone still living in town.
- Logline critique thread: post yours, get honest (kind) notes
Rules: one logline per post, under 40 words. Give notes on at least one other person's before you post again. Be kind, be specific. All loglines must be your own work.